I’m Doomed to Live in Meshech
I’m in trouble. I cry to GOD,
desperate for an answer:
“Deliver me from the liars, GOD!
They smile so sweetly but lie through their teeth.”
Do you know what’s next, can you see what’s coming,
all you barefaced liars?
Pointed arrows and burning coals
will be your reward.
I’m doomed to live in Meshech,
cursed with a home in Kedar.
My whole life lived camping
among quarreling neighbors.
I’m all for peace, but the minute
I tell them so, they go to war!
This chapter deals with repentance; we are sinners and have fallen from the path of God. We are called to repent, to turn 180 degrees and head in the right direction. Peterson provides a quote from Mencius, a 4th century BC Chinese Confucian philosopher: “Before a man can do things there must be things we will not do.” When we turn from the things we are not to do, we can focus on that which we should do.
I really liked how honest Psalm 120 is. It’s harsh and it’s the reality of the world. The world is not where we want to be. It is not a place we will EVER be satisfied with. It will not simply get better once something (be it an election, a new job, a move, a raise, etc. etc. etc.) happens. We will only become dissatisfied yet again. We need to see this dissatisfaction for what it is and make an intentional decision to turn away from the world and go towards God. In the class Sally and I are taking, we just talked about the lies that the world feeds us. The lies that the world is an okay place and that humans are basically good. Believing these lies leads to the continued destruction and downward spiral of the human race.
Why am I so easily persuaded by a world that doesn’t stand for what I stand for? It’s one of those “admittance is the first step to recovery” things where if I can recognize the areas of my life that are influenced by the lies we are told, I can begin to combat that with God’s truths. Psalm 120 is doing just that. It is turning away from the world’s path and moving towards God’s path. I like this definition of repentance: saying no to the world’s lies and a yes to God’s truths. I like the visual- it makes it easier to grasp for me.
Pastor John in church this morning was speaking on the same thing in preparation for Lent as well and talked about the ascent to Jerusalem. He said “we’re not following Jesus if we want an easy life.” This decision of repentance is turning towards God and following Jesus on His last ascent to Jerusalem where His journey was a painful one, and He knew it would be, where it would end with Him as the sacrificial lamb. We are with Jesus on this journey during Lent and for the rest of our lives and it’s not meant to be an easy one.
A long, hard, yet worthwhile journey indeed. Sorry for so many quotes. I just really liked this chapter!
Honestly, the first thing that I thought as I was reading this chapter was “Gee, I’m glad this isn’t the last chapter!” It was hard to read because it seemed like a “glass is half empty” sort of chapter. Of course it ended on a better note than that and the reason it felt that way was because it was convicting.
This line jumped out at me:
That just makes me cringe because it is so true and makes things so difficult!
But the kicker is that in all the difficulties we have a choice. Often times we will make the wrong one, but that is the beauty of repentance:
I like that. In a “glass is half empty” sort of world, it is nice to know that in reality, our glass is completely full, all we have to do is turn from sin and drink from it. Thankfully it is a journey!
I also thought of our class, Erin, when he started talking about The Lie that we are told from the beginning. In our class we talked about how self-actualization is really just another new way of making ourselves gods. The lie that we are basically good and just need to tap into that is pernicious. When we focus on ourselves or anything that isn’t God, it leads to our destruction. The turning away from these things, the repentance makes sense as the first step in The Journey. For me, the logic of it sings. The quote Matt put in about repentance being a decision not an emotion really caught my eye too. (I underlined it!) Christianity is a very intellectual journey and, though our emotions and feeling are important, we are told to test everything. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
“I’m in trouble. I cry to GOD, desperate for an answer…”
Psalm 120:1
Another spritual discipline that we have named since we have been in Virginny is the spiritual discipline of cultivating desparation. I think that this is a particularly important discipline living in our Western culture. What if a lack of desperation is THE lie (as in #1 lie)? So often I have noticed that America doesn’t know God because America doesn’t seem to need God. We can have anything at any time. Our lives are full of distraction and lies of self-sufficiency. We are full of pride, competetion and performance. Where is their space for God?
Even within the Church, we seem to forget so quickly the “Egypt” that we were saved from and walk by blessings as if God wasn’t everywhere.
It is easy to remember desperation in the needy moments in life, but what about in the daily?
I want to live like I NEED God. Like I am desperate for Him.
One of our Alaska friends who does not believe in Christ as LORD, once said “that Christ is for the weak.” I agree. We are told so many times that we are not to be weak and that weak = bad, but I have come to realize in my spiritual journey that weak = good.
Since Andy brought up this idea of cultivating spiritual desperation over a year ago, I feel like God has given this gift to me (side note: Richard Foster refers to all spiritual disciplines as gifts). Even now, my mind is silently humming, Amazing Grace, my eyes are stinging with tears and I feel like I can cry out with numerous sincere needs to One who has been very faithful to my desperate cries.
So, family, hold me to it. I want to live not as the lied to, self-sufficient world lives, but as if I am desperate.
“Deliver me from the liars, God!” Psalm 120
The spiritual discipline of counter-culture living (I speak in disciplines, because that is what they truly are… a discipline… not some way of living that I fall into naturally) is something else I have been reflecting on this last year. I feel that our journey that Andy and I are being lead along is one that is significantly different than the world’s “American Dream” journey. This is frightening to me. I know that God is trust-worthy and leads to still waters, not class 5 rapids.
This is the story that I have been told as a young girl:
1. Grow up.
2. Go to university.
3. Get a good-paying job.
4. Get married.
5. Buy a house as early as possible.
6. Get a dog.
7. Work like a dog.
8. Have children.
9. Work like a dog some more.
10. Make enough $ to retire by 65.
11. Die.
This story is told as if there is nothing else to life and that you need to do whatever it takes to attain these parts of the story. Now don’t get me wrong, there are certain parts of this story that I plan on us interacting with at some level (i.e. #11,8), but I feel like this idea that this is it to the American Dream is pretty depressing.
More on this later.
I like the boy in the corner.
The boy in the corner laughs everytime he sees it.
I like your thoughts on desperation. This country is heading for destruction (based on examples of other Godless nations) because of its’ lack of dependence on God. It seems like a cycle: repentance, desperation, blessings, pride, falling away, destruction, repentance, desperation, etc. How to stop the cycle though? How do you show your desperation for God to an uninterested world? What does desperation for God look like so that a secularized culture will recognize it when we display it for them? I am desperate for God and I want to model it…if not for an uninterested culture, at least for my kids.
Oh, Katie - I like your comments so much! Desperate for God -hmmm. Yep, I’m pretty self-sufficient, do what I want, when I want to (usually). There are some things I struggle with, and, after having just finished a Sunday School class on “So, You Want To Be Like Christ?” I find I’m sadly lacking in many of the disciplines that we studied. I think I need to read that book once a month, just to keep reminding me of humility, sacrifice, surrender, intimacy with God, etc., etc., because I get so bogged down in the “world” that I forget — and that’s a “world” mostly consisting of Christian friends and church family. How spoiled I am!!
Amen to that thought.
Wow, I had never thought about this before. I had never thought that cultivating desperation could be a good thing. I think that is another lie of the world that I have believed. We should be so desperate for God that we are seeking him in everything!
What, you mean saying that we know God isn’t enough?
This discussion has been so great! I look forward to more!
I am often saddened about the call to counter-cultural living. I want the things I am told that I need. I get sucked into what “everyone” says I need to be happy, beautiful and free. Sometimes I feel scared about what choices Andy and I are making because the journey is so different than what other people our age are traveling along. It is hard to leave what is comfortable, easy and agreeable.
Today, Jon (our pastor) mentioned the character’s choice in the story Pilgrim’s Progress (I need to read this). Here the character finds himself at a crossroad where he must choose between two paths. One read “DESTRUCTION” and the other “DANGER.” He choose the latter, but most of his companions chose “DESTRUCTION.”
I guess those are the choices…
DANGER: Difficult, at times scary, narrow, counter-cultural, different, adventurous and good, might cause tension
OR
DESTRUCTION: Potentially sweet and easy at first, but ultimately leads to death
I hope that I continue to have the courage to take the (at times) dangerous adventurous one with Andy. God is sure to be as good as he has been to us. I trust him to lead us into a place of blessing (Psalm 23) and wholeness.
The quote from Euge (see above) reminds me also of our call to Christ’s way in two particular arenas: environmental justice and social justice. People seem reluctant to choose the harder way in these places. I think that we can’t say “no,” because we are so used to living in a certain way (as the quote mentions). Life here in the US has gotten quite cozy for all (including Christians). Now that we are starting to make the connection that this leads to “the way of death,” we are called to the leave.
It is hard to change. This is definitely part of my peculiar personality. It is so easy to keep our lifestyle and world view and so offensive to be called out of it. (”LORD, have mercy on me.”)
I want to be able to say this about Andy and I… about our community of family and friends. I hope that when I am on death’s doorstep that I can say,
“So Andy and I said no and became a pilgrim people, picking a path of peace and righteousness through the battlefields of falsehood and violence, finding a path to God through the labyrinth of sin.”
Not without cost, but still worth it.
Definitely convicting Katie. It is difficult to live counter-cultural. Sometimes it can even be difficult to know what that will look like. But that is definitely good encouragement to figure it out.
I like the Bunyan reference. It seems like sometimes we see those two signs and definitely want to take the easy path even if it leads to destruction.
“…they were now going someplace-they were going to God. The truth of God explained lives, the love of God blessed their lives. The no released them to a freedom that was diverse and glorious.” (Euge pg. 32)
Identity and purpose are some of my favorite things that children of God are given. This is by far the most notable difference between myself and my friends who are not Christians. Many people my age ask big questions and struggle with their identity. I have such a deep sense of shalom in this area of my life. It is as if Christ Himself gave me salvation gifts of identity and purpose. I might not know every turn in my life’s story, but I have been given a framework. Simple truths of who I am called by God and what He is calling me to be clears up most all of the difficult questions in life. It is as if we were given special goggles to see everything in light of these gifts and oh it is so beautiful and exciting.
Euge retells a story of a conversation he had with a woman one day on page 53. The lady realized that she needed a frame in which to live her life. My hope is that my friends and family would know the peace that comes with acknowledging this frame.
“Thank you for your grace and mercy, that you would look my way. You have picked up my chin, given me beauty-goggles and given me purpose. Thank you for explaining my life and giving me peace.”
I have been asking myself lately, “would I have been a Christian in 1st-3rd century Roman Empire? Would I have been a Christian when it might have cost my life?”
It might be hard to believe now, but it was a major discussion in the ancient church, upon Constantine’s conversion, whether those who denied their faith at the moment of torture and possible death should be allowed to come back to the church.
We are soft. We have been blessed with much. Much will certainly be required. Rob Bell makes the point in one of his NOOMA DVDs that the bumper sticker “God Bless America” is awkward because God has already so obviously blessed America. The question is, how are we good stewards of that blessing?
Sally, I think you have half of the equtaion when you say, “This country is heading for destruction (based on examples of other Godless nations) because of its’ lack of dependence on God.” This is the verticle relationship that is standing in judgment. The other half is our horizontal relationship; what have we done with the blessing from God? How are we good stewards of our position in the world? How do we treat our neighbors on a local AND global scale?
Destruction comes as these two relationships are broken. As the church in America how do we change and cultivate these relationships?
Your initial question makes me think of Shusaku Endo’s Silence where that issue is explored. I think it is a really hard question to ask because we are so blessed, we don’t really have any understanding about what it means to be persecuted. That does mean we should discount the persecution we have been through, but it does mean we should put it in perspective.
That bumper sticker always seems awkward to me. I definitely think we should be very thankful for the blessings God has given this country, but we should also be thankful for and pray for the blessings of other countries as well. It isn’t like America is the “chosen country” and I’m not really sure what it would look like if we were… Israel hasn’t exactly had it easy.
Excellent question. Hopefully we can flesh some of that out in these chapters!
yeah Matt. Read your LONG post on “Silence”. Very interesting. Reminds me of the quesiton of how much of what folks have been willing to endure in terms of persecution is merely cultural stuff. Denying sacred symbols? But then, I didn’t grow up in a church that put a high value on those things. Maybe it would be a different story otherwise.
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