Do I have your attention? No, that wasn’t just some cheap ploy to get you to read my post, I actually have something to say about this racy subject.
All Saints just finished up a series on Love and Relationships. It was a great series that made some great points about marriage in particular and relationships in general. My take-away? I really wish I was in a relationship! Haha. Ok, I am being a bit flippant. It is true, I would like to be in a relationship (but I am also quite happy without it), but there was much more that was said that should be meditated on to grow closer to Christ and used to build strong relationships with others.
I commented on one of the sermons (“Two Nonnegotiables“) that dealt with seeking that “perfect” relationship. Bill went on to cover a wide variety of “love and marriage” issues (check out the audio downloads page at All Saints to hear them all) concluding with “Let Me Stand Next To Your Fire” (Sex!) and “Keeping it Hot! Staying in Love Forever.”
Sex is always an awkward topic to discuss in Christian circles. But to truly live holistically as a Christian, we must recognize that God created sex for our pleasure and enjoyment. To deny that is to ignore the benefits of something that God has given us. See a passage like Proverbs 5:18-19 and try to ignore God’s desire for us when it comes to sex. Heck, read the book Song of Solomon (often called the Song of Songs [which really means "the best song"]), you won’t be able to deny God’s intentions towards sex. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 notes:
The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
This is both a freeing and scary statement. A husband and wife shouldn’t deprive each other. I think that modern culture understand that. But the “no authority over his/her own body” thing people have problems with. But to be perfectly blunt, if they are not comfortable with that, they should not get married.
The Bible is also pretty explicit about the appropriate time for having sex: after entering into marriage. I won’t dwell on this too much because I think it is a point that has been argued about ad nauseam. I will say this: it is exceedingly difficult for Christians to defend any arguments they have for having sex before marriage. The world may not understand why we wait; they don’t seen to get that sex is a profound spiritual, emotional, and physical act that carries complications and implications in all those areas. Waiting just means we recognize that God has a better idea about how sex is to be used that we do. I am quite unashamed in saying that I am 28 and a virgin. That doesn’t mean it is easy to wait, especially in seeing how God has created sex for us, but it is crucial to be able to fully experience all that comes along with this gift.
The series was concluded today with a sermon on keeping the passion alive; how do we stay in love with the same person forever? Bill offered four ways to help keep your relationships strong (specifically romantic relationships, but relationships in general will also benefit from these suggestions). Step toward growth in Christ (Philippians 2:4-5). Step toward servanthood (Matthew 20:26-28). Step toward honor (Romans 12:10). Step toward enjoyment of each other (John 10:10). Simple principles, but epic in importance. The hard part is actually living these things out. They don’t have to be huge things, little daily things are just as important as the big, grand gestures. Daily practice of these suggestions will help foster love for each other and build a strong foundation.
Small topics, eh? I know all these things could be explored in much more detail, but I will leave it at that for now. Now I just need to get a date so as to apply some of the principles talked about in the series!
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